"doesn't matter how well you starter does or how many runs you score, if you can't keep a team like Kansas City who can't score at all from scoring, in the middle of the ballgame, you got a problem."
Thanks Jeff... would have never guessed.
An ongoing series of essays by R.W. Twain.
"doesn't matter how well you starter does or how many runs you score, if you can't keep a team like Kansas City who can't score at all from scoring, in the middle of the ballgame, you got a problem."
The first victim of the curse was Carl Weathers, who played heavyweight champion Apollo Creed. Creed wins a heart-wrenching battle in Rocky I, but later returns for multiple beatings in Rocky II and Rocky IV. If that wasn't enough for Carl Weathers, he later lost an arm in an unforgettable scene in the 1987 hit Predator.
Beginning with the third Rocky movie, new villains had to be introduced to provide some false hope that Rocky would finally get the beating that he deserved. In Rocky III, Hulk Hogan makes an appearance as a heel, but the real hay makers landed on the inimitable mug of Mr. T. Not that either Hogan or Mr. T needed much help in failing, but the curse has pushed Hogan back to the disdainful world of television wrestling and displaced Mr. T from once-budding star bodyguard to pitchman for collect phone call commercials.
Rocky IV's villain, Dolph Lundgren as the Cold War villain Ivan Drago, also stumbled following his stint as Stallone's appointed punching bag. His next role was as He-Man in the Masters of the Universe, and then he was The Punisher. Need I say more? Okay, he was also engaged to Grace Jones, who left an indelible mark on the silver screen with her work in Conan the Destroyer.
All was well and good at this point, as the villains were only taking a symbolic beating as victims of the Rocky Balboa curse. What happened next was, well, simply breathtaking. The curse of Rocky Balboa first manifested itself physically in the form of Tommy "The Duke" Morrison. Morrison, an undefeated professional boxer, took on the role of villain in Rocky V. Less than a year after that film was released, Morrison took a monumentally viscous beating at the hands of "Merciless" Ray Mercer. Thanks to the miracles of modern technology, you can now share in the joy of witnessing that savage beating by pressing play in the frame below:
[Update: As of October 31, 2006, Tommy Morrision is now applying for a boxing license in Nevada to begin a comeback. Morrison's attorney now claims the Duke never had AIDS/HIV, alleging that "his prefight blood test for his 1996 bout... resulted [in] a false-positive or was rigged by a rival promoter out to get him." Morrison was quoted as saying, "A lot of people doubt that I have anything left. But one thing they're forgetting is that I haven't been fighting for 10 years. I've been resting. I'll go down in history. It's going to happen. Then I'll become a legend." That's right Tommy, after you go down in history you become a legend. But to become a legend, you can't just fight bums. Instead, you'll have the tall task (pun intended) of defeating behemoths like current IBF heavyweight champion, the 6'6" Dr. Wladimir Klitschko and current WBA heavyweight champion, the 7'+, 330 pound Nikolai Valuev. Morrison was last listed at 6'2", 224 lbs.]
So, given the history of the curse of Rocky Balboa, it should come as no surprise that the villain for Rocky VI (titled Rocky Balboa), Antonio "The Magic Man" Tarver, has recently fallen victim to the curse of Rocky Balboa. This evening he took a convincing beating (and lost me $20) at the hands of Bernard "The Executioner" Hopkins. The fight was never close and one should expect that Tarver will probably hang the gloves up soon. It clearly isn't going to get any better for him-- just ask Tommy Morrison.
In addition to the Rocky Balboa curse, Tarver likely suffers from the bad karma generated by the name of his character, Mason "The Line" Dixon (really, no shit), in the upcoming Rocky Balboa. There had to have been gross negligence at multiple levels of the production and corporate regime to permit a black character to be named after a surveying reference most renowned for its role in the Missouri Compromise slave debate and resulting Civil War. That's just plain stupid and Tarver, along with everyone else involved in Rocky Balboa, should be cursed for that kind of boorish idiocy. As a public service, we ought to get Ray Mercer a few rounds with Stallone and those Sony Pictures executives.
Comments welcome. Curses not.